Rob Bell is a silly dude but I appreciate him and his new book that questions the existence of eternal conscious torment/Hell

here is why I love it:

1.  The pages of the book are appropriately made of soft cotton tissue courtesy of Charmin so that after you read the crap on the pages, you can use them to wipe - i appreciate multi-purpose reads especially since i read in the toilet anyway

2.  Belinda Carlisle, once a singer in the lady band Go-Go's and vocalist for the 80's hit "Heaven is a place on earth" is sure to hit a career resurgence if she will simply do a companion piece duet with Mr. Bell about how "Hell is a place on earth"

3.  It shows just how lazy Christians are to even call this controversial instead of poop - Bible says it clearly but since no one reads Bible anymore, Hell as well as Jesus' covered-up marriage to Mary Magdalene and David's homosexual relationship with Jonathan can be brought out into the open

4.  I now know how to write a bestselling book - for all this time i have been aiming at hard truth in hopes that Jesus' disciples would grab it and feed on it. But now I see the light - All i have to do is come up with some sensational insanity about how God promotes divorce in cases of boredom and how one of Jesus' apostles was actually the abominable snowman (bartholomew - so obvious).  Then people will get all mad and say I am going to Hell - but then me and Rob Bell can laugh at them all together as we surf and smoke a bong and create more bad theology.

5.  Proves to me that you do not have to have experience to write about something - Rob Bell has not yet died and thus cannot be sure whether or not Hell - (Gehenna in Greek which means a fiery trash dump in one of the worst areas of town) exists - But he writes as if he does know - And he even has the gonads to argue with Jesus on it - the one who has experience with dying and who helped make Hell and who promises it to lots of people - So, now I am free to write a book on being a woman of substance from the 1700's - even though I have never been a woman and even though I have not lived in the 1700's, I could write as if I did and probably win the pulitzer

6.  Forces a change to the meaning "Go to Hell" - once it was a bad thing - but now, it won't mean anything that bad - in fact, when someone says it to me now, i might even take it as a compliment or even as a calling to move to Idaho.

7.  Makes me realize that the end of the world is nearer - besides all the tsunamis, we got false teachers popping up with hugely silly things as has been promised by Jesus (who I guess now is under question)

8.  Pretty much throws the whole Bible up for grabs - which means I can re-interpret anything to make myself happy - First one to change:  Carry my cross daily - Not anymore - I think I will change it to Carry my iPhone daily - And you won't see me turning my cheek anymore - You smack me, I smack you...Man, it feels good to make scripture fun and easy - 

9. Glad for the rich guy in the parable of Lazarus - i thought he was really thirsty, but he and abraham must have been just joking around about that chasm existing between torment and paradise - He probably went ahead and threw a three foot rope to him and pulled him out of that hot tub he was in

10.  It is a freaking wake-up call - Bell used to do some good stuff - but he has allowed his head and his reason re-define God and to make Him into a lover who refuses to destroy...Do not follow man - Do not listen to people spouting about who God must be because His ways do not make sense to them...Higher ways people...

Truth:  This is just the beginning of the books to come out from prominent pastors you once trusted - pastors who have learned to rebuke Jesus for putting the difficulty of the cross out there - those who have in mind the things of man - Do not let them tickle you until your faith stops breathing...Crap is crap no matter if it is hardback or paperback - no matter who the author of it is or who wrote the foreword - 

Pray for Rob Bell - He is a teacher and will be judged more strictly

Pray for me - I am a goofball jar who always needs a refill